Saturday, July 24, 2010

A Series of Cryptic, Anonymous Messages to People You Don't Know

Dear You,
Technically speaking, the question, "Can you work later than usual this week?" is a yes or no question. The fact that you chose to answer "yes" is your problem.

Dear You,
Sure, I feel bad hiding some of my possessions from you, but I would feel worse discovering that you had ruined them.

Dear You,
Don't give up on me. Someday I'll figure out how to be myself all the time without apologizing for it.

Dear You,
Would it kill you to clean up after yourself?

Dear You,
Sometimes I feel like cleaning up after myself will kill me.

Dear You,
Turning down my business by explaining that what you do is "very high end" isn't as polite--or as descriptive--as you seem to think it is. Telling me that your service is too good for me without even asking what my budget is makes me feel like Julia Roberts' character trying to shop on Rodeo Drive in the movie Pretty Woman. (And we all know how that turned out.)

Dear You,
You're a lot louder than you think you are. I only say that because when you speak, I want to claw my own ears off.

Dear You,
Thank you for giving me a chance.

Dear You,
Thanks for reading my blog.

No comments: